speeches at a gay wedding

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Altar your thinking: alternative wedding planning

Is this the best gay wedding ceremony script ever?

When Ken and Joe got married in Allentown PA, one of their dearest friends officiated the ceremony and married them. Ken told us, “Kurt did such an awesome job and EVERYONE was blown away by his speech. He may have had more people congratulate him on a job well done than we got for getting married!”

With Ken's permission, we're sharing a selection of their wedding ceremony script with you. While it's filled with details about Ken and Joe, you could easily have your officiant swap in details about you and your beloved.

The script also has a section about marriage equality that's extra relevant for a gay wedding , and as Ken noted, “On each chair was a rainbow flag for the guest. Once the ceremony ended, the guests picked up their flags and waved them — 200 rainbow flags flying high as we departed the ceremony! ” Wait until you see the pictures!

Gay wedding ceremony script

So you've been asked to officiate a friend's wedding. Congratulations! Even if you're someone used to exciting things happening all over the universe, someone like,... Read more

Ladies and Gentlemen, at Ken and Joe’s request, please put your phones in airplane mode or turn them off, and please take no pictures or video of the ceremony. They want you to be as present in THEIR moment as they are.

Please be seated.

Hello everyone, and on behalf of Ken and Joe, welcome! My name is Kurt, and a little over a year ago, Ken and Joe asked me to officiate their wedding for them. I don’t think I can exactly tell you how amazing it is to be trusted by two good friends to do so. It is truly an honor and one of the greatest privileges of my life, not being ordained nor a captain of a ship (although I do have a congregation! *gestures to the gays* ) THANK YOU for having that faith in me.

Now shortly after they asked me to marry them I said to myself: “What in the world do I say?” Here I am one of the most single people on the planet, offering marital advice. I’m not exactly the role model for the longevity of a relationship… Trust me, that irony is not lost on me!

That being said, if you know me, I DO have an opinion on just about everything, and I think my advice is “pretty” good, so let’s see what you think! I’ve also warned them that I wanted to try to inject humor into the event, because the one thing we do as friends is laugh.

Before we get too far into things, I just would like for us to all take a moment and remember some very important people, Ken’s mother and Joe’s father, as well as grandparents, that are not with us today.

Guys, because of the good hearts and kindness towards others that you both have, I KNOW that they are here in every way because of the influence they had on you. They’re ALWAYS with you and always will be.

BACKGROUND ON THE COUPLE

I’ve known Ken for a little over 6 years, and we met through mutual friends. Joe came into the picture almost 4 years ago. When we were out for dinner one night recently, I asked them to describe what their first date was like. They went to a bar called Doc Watson’s, Now, bars and alcohol will be a theme today as you may know!! Had a nice time, thought they’d go their separate ways that night, and Joe texted Ken to come back to his place. Well from then on they just kind of assumed they were dating because things just felt right from the get go, and how awesome is that?

11 months later, Joe moved in and changed his address without any serious discussions about where they were going as a couple… it just felt right. Joe was up at Ken’s so much, and Ken was away, came home, and learned that Joe changed his address and was like “Ok”! And so when they told me the story about Joe changing his address, a

Ben Platt song came to mind. I won’t sing it, but here are some of the words that I think are just absolutely appropriate to Ken and Joe:

We've got expert advice on all the parts of a wedding, and how structure your wedding ceremony from start to finish, complete with a sample... Read more

Darling you might think it’s too soon But I can’t get you out of my head now Picturing myself in your room And I wanna be with you ‘til I’m dead now I want your friends to be my friends I’ll make you breakfast in your bed I want it all with you And if I’m coming on too strong It’s ‘cause I’ve waited far too long For someone just like you I want a key to your house I wanna pick up your clothes I wanna clean up your mess I wanna know where you hide things Wanna be in your photos Wanna share your address I know, I know it feels like love So lets shack up I wanna share your address I wanna be your emergency contact You can put me down ‘Cause you know I know you best It doesn’t matter where I go Without you, I’ll never be home

THINGS IN COMMON

And so what do Ken and Joe have in common? They both felt that their relationship has 3 strengths:

• Balance- what Ken takes care of, Ken does well, and what Joe takes care of, Joe does well. They work well as a team, and pick up for each other as necessary.
• The second strength is patience. They each seem to have the ability to be calm when the other gets agitated, and thereby help calm the other down.
• The third strength is that their differences complement each other… no difference is enough for the other to say “I can’t deal with that”. All of these are great things for the start of a long-lasting relationship.

So, from a very basic standpoint, what is the person anyone wants to marry? I think we’d all say our best friend, with benefits?? But it’s really more than that. Best friends can even be intimate, but not want to spend the rest of their lives together. The person you marry, is the one that you want to see before you go to sleep and as soon as you wake up. Even if you’re perpendicular to each other with your feet up on the wall. There’s photographic evidence of Joe doing exactly that from Key West, anyone who wants to see it, find me later! And so Ken, Joe, you TRULY ARE each other's best friend, the one you want to fall asleep next to, and see when you wake up.

But with friendships, it’s not just about Ken and Joe. If you haven’t had a good glance at the room, take a look around now. Seriously.

MARRIAGE EQUALITY

You know it wasn’t that long ago that it became LEGAL for you two, and our other friends here, to be allowed to marry each other. Of course you could have the ceremony and the intent and spirit is there, but think about that… LEGALLY, if you happened to love someone of the same sex, your love wasn’t recognized in the eyes of the law. It was June 26th, 2015, and I know there is a bunch of us here, both gay and straight, that literally wept. We’ve had the saying for a few years “Love is Love”. Nothing can be more true. I’d like to share a portion of the ruling on gay marriage from Obergefell v. Hodges, and listen to exactly what was said:

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a martial union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure, even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their PLEA is that they DO respect it, so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is NOT to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right… it is so ordered.”

In my lifetime, I don’t know that there will be a more affirming statement that, indeed, LOVE IS LOVE. The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves. If there is anything better than being loved, it is LOVING. Here is a small reading I came across, since we’ve had the theme of friendship. It is called ‘To My Friend'. Ken, Joe, please look at each other as I read this:

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good, and more than any fate could have done to make me happy. You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign. You have done it by being yourself. Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all.

And because up to 4 years ago, getting married was never a legal option, neither of them thought they WOULD get married. Then apparently Ken blurted out to Shannon on 57th Street in NYC that he wanted to marry Joe, and apparently stopped traffic, and then they got engaged in Key Largo, one of their very favorite places.

Now family and friends, if you are married, please turn and look at each other. Hold each other’s hands, and I want you to remember the day you stood up and took your vows to each other.

Ken, Joe… look at their faces. May you be able to do the same with each other over, and over, and over again.

I asked various people who have been married for a long time, what advice would they give to people getting married? Here is some of their advice:

• Communication! “It’s not always a walk in the park”, but effective communication and listening to how someone FEELS is important.
• Don’t take the little things for granted. Each of you has those little things that you do that the other doesn’t have to think about. LEARN what those little things are for each other, and don’t forget the value they have, even if unspoken.
• Some people say a relationship is 50/50, but that’s not true. Any relationship, even friendships, should be 100/100. You’re 100% on any given day isn’t the same, but if you give all you can for a given day, what more can be asked?
• Learn to navigate each other’s strengths and weaknesses and when it’s time to step up because the other might not be able to do everything they usually do.
• Learn each other’s love language, that is, the way you show love to each other. And the way your partner feels your love.

Now… Here we go… are you ready? Good, because my services are non-refundable, and the bill is in the mail.

YOUR EXPRESSION OF INTENT Ken you have chosen Joe to be your husband. Will you love and respect him? Will you be honest with him always? Will you stand by him through whatever may come?

(Answer: “I will” if you do)

Joe, you have chosen Ken to be your husband. Will you love and respect him? Will you be honest with him? Will you stand by him through whatever may come?

And do you both promise to do the best you can to make the necessary adjustments in your personal lives in order that you may live in a harmonious relationship together?

(Answer: “We do” if you both do)

THE EXPRESSION OF INTENT FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS Now in the spirit of joy and affirmation and the significance that all of you (family and friends are to Ken and Joe), I want to ask YOU a question. Do you, the families and friends of Ken and Joe give them your blessing and support this day, promising to support THEM through what life may bring to them as a married couple? If so, Answer: “We do”

THE EXCHANGE OF VOWS

Ken and Joe now we come to your vows. May I remind you that saying your vows are one thing but nothing is more challenging than living them day-by-day. What you promise today must be renewed tomorrow and each day that stretches out before you. (Will you now please turn and face each other and hold hands, looking at each other.)

Ken, please repeat after me:

In the presence of our family and friends, I Ken choose you Joe, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, to love and to cherish, and to be faithful to you alone. This is my solemn vow.

Now Joe, please repeat after me:

In the presence of our family and friends, I Joe choose you Ken to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, to love and to cherish, and to be faithful to you alone. This is my solemn vow.

THE GIVING & RECEIVING OF RINGS

May I have the rings please?

KEN, repeat after me: I give you this ring, that you may wear it, as a symbol of the vows we have made this day. I pledge you my love, My respect, my laughter and my tears. With all that I am, I honor you.

JOE repeat after me: I give you this ring, that you may wear it, as a symbol of the vows we have made this day. I pledge you my love, and respect, my laughter and my tears. With all that I am, I honor you.

AFFIRMATION OF THE MARRIAGE

Now may those who wear these rings live in love all their days. Now may the love, which has brought you together, continue to grow and enrich your lives. May you continue to meet with courage any problems, which may arise to challenge you. May your relationship always be one of love and trust. May the happiness you share today be with you always. And may everything you have said and done here today become a living truth in your lives.

DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE

Ken and Joe, we have heard your promise to share your lives in marriage. We recognize and respect the covenant you have made here this day before each one of us as witnesses. Therefore in the honesty and sincerity of what you have said and done here today and by the power vested in me by YOU, it is my honor and delight to declare you married together in life…for life, HUSBAND AND HUSBAND.

Now SEAL THOSE VOWS WITH A KISS!!

Ladies and gentlemen, Please grab your flags and wave them with PRIDE for Ken and Joe, and prove that indeed, LOVE IS LOVE!

About the Author: Offbeat Weditors

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Wedding Speeches Ultimate Guide: The Good, the Bad and The Ugly

When they are good, they are very, very good, and when they are bad, they’re painful. To help you perfect your gay wedding speech, we chatted to professional speechwriters from …

When they are good, they are very, very good, and when they are bad, they’re painful.

To help you perfect your gay wedding speech, we chatted to professional speechwriters from Great Speech Writing London based company.

They told us two very different gay wedding speech stories, both of which they assisted with; and there are lessons in both…

Wedding Speeches: Speaking Roles

But first, let’s discuss wedding speaking roles as they are important.

Many wedding traditions were enshrined in a very different time. The giving away of the bride, or the absence of female speakers at the reception are reflective of an age where gender roles were less fluid than they are today.

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Have questions ? Ask anything , and our team of experts will be there to help you decide.

Until recently, traditions in the UK itself denied same-sex couples equal rights in marriage . In other words, wedding traditions aren’t sacrosanct.

Seb, of Great Speech Writing, shares his thoughts on getting those speeches right.

Lawrence Bernstein from Great Speech Writing, London

Speaking Roles: Traditional and Some Alternatives

Mothers and fathers of the bride/groom.

In the spirit of equality, a common alternative is to ask a parent on each side to give a wedding speech. This has the added benefit of allowing you to choose the parent that will a) enjoy it more, and b) deliver a better speech.

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Another option is to ask your parents to do a joint wedding speech. If they’re on speaking terms, that is. And if that thought doesn’t send shivers down your spine.

Again, this has its own advantages, as often each parent will have a unique take on their child, and asking them to collaborate might make for a wedding speech greater than the sum of its parts.

Having already delivered his father of a bride speech at the wedding of his lesbian daughter some months before, and now tasked with writing another speech in celebration for his daughter and daughter-in-law’s first year anniversary, Martin sought Lawrence’s help.

He felt his speech had been one of those bad wedding speeches, where the focus was all wrong and he hadn’t got across the real message, which should have been one about love.

And this is his story…

Best Man/Best Woman/Maid of Honour

Even the best man speech is rooted in relatively rigid ideas of gender norms: the assumption being that a groom’s best friend is inevitably another man. Yes, it is often the case, but it is by no means a universal.

Quite understandably, many same-sex couples choosing to marry will want to avoid heteronormative traditions.

So in place of the best man/maid of honour, you might consider forgetting gender altogether, and giving (or burdening!) the responsibility to the individual, or individuals, who you feel knows you best.

Ironically, this was once the case. The father of the bride speech was traditionally given by a family member – or friend – with some experience in public speaking.

Ask someone else

Or you could ask someone to speak whose speech you know will be memorable for all the right reasons. It goes without saying that this needn’t be the privilege of only one of your friends or family members – quite the opposite!

Still struggling? Relax…

Equal Marriage is a long-fought and hard won-right, and it’s shown us that traditions which seem entrenched can change with the world around us.

To paraphrase a famous song, it’s your party, and you can do what you want to. This couldn’t be more true of same-sex marriages.

You don’t have to conform to the same traditions as most heterosexual weddings. Rip up the rule book and write your own.

Key Wedding Speech Writing Rules

Start by thinking about the other guests.

Yes, there will be a few people who wanted to get a warts ‘n’ all picture of him, but there will also be large numbers of relatives and family friends.

It is vital to make your humour and approach relevant to them too; a gay wedding doesn’t mean exclusively gay guests!

Work Around Your Friend And What Has Defined Him Over The Years

• What has made him unique?
• What elements would hold together in a speech about him?

In a room with so many gay guests, being gay won’t actually be unique at all.

Consider your friend’s partner.

Rather than thinking about him being a man, think about him as the person who has made your friend so very happy.

As a best man, that’s all that matters: your friend being happier with his partner than without him.

So, when it comes to writing a wedding speech, there really is no difference between a same-sex and different-sex wedding at all, except for the pronouns!

Wedding Speech Tips: Overcoming Public Speaking Nerves

Dry mouth, sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach; not the typical romantic reactions you would associate with a wedding.

But the thought of standing up to speak in front of a large audience – especially one that consists of the people who know and love you the most in the world – is a terrifying prospect for the majority of us.

Alys Metcalf, specialist coach at Great Speech Writing, shares her seven top tips for overcoming nerves before giving your wedding speech.

Be prepared

Take a leaf out of the Scout’s book for this one: a week or so before your wedding speech, think through all the possibilities of what could go awry and find solutions to prevent the worst.

For example, if you’re worried you might forget your words, have a joke up your sleeve ready to get a few laughs and give you time to get back on track.

By taking the element of chance away, you’ll feel more confident from the get-go.

This cannot be overemphasised: practice really does make perfect. Read your wedding speech aloud several times (perhaps even in front of a friend who can give you some pointers) so that you’re familiar with the material.

If you feel secure with what you’re saying, the words will flow more naturally and you’ll be far less nervous on the day.

Visualise the speech

Positive visualisations can help you bring the speech of your dreams into reality. Have a clear picture in your mind of how you want to deliver your wedding speech.

• What hand gestures are you using?
• How often are you pausing?
• How do you feel when you’ve finished the speech?

Imagine yourself being confident and you’ll slowly start to feel it too.

Drink lots (of water!)

Drinking water before you get up to speak will ensure you don’t get a dry throat. Have a glass of water nearby to you during the wedding speech, in case you need to take a sip.

At all costs, do not get drunk beforehand! It may feel like the easy way to get through it, but it won’t seem so sensible afterwards.

Focus on your breathing

While you’re readying yourself to speak, take a few deep breaths (in and out, in and out).

Focus on being in control of your breathing; seeming out of breath during your wedding speech will immediately signal to the audience that you’re nervous.

Instead, breathing steadily will make you appear completely confident and you’ll be able to enjoy the speech much more.

Manage the shakes

Paste your wedding speech onto a card and rest it somewhere you can see it.

Holding a shaky piece of paper will put you off and you’ll spend more time worrying about whether the audience can see your shaky hands than you will focus on delivering a brilliant speech.

Connect with your audience

The common advice when it comes to public speaking nerves is to picture your audience naked. Instead, keep reminding yourself that the audience is on your side.

They don’t want to see you fail, they are there to celebrate the happiest day of your life.

Make eye contact with them and smile. You’ll instantly feel more relaxed when you see them smiling back at you.

Nail Your Wedding Speech During The Lockdown

Yes, you read that right! Stuck at home, wedding on hold, tailor working from home, caterers not picking-up. It’s not quite how you planned it, but in a crisis, there is always an opportunity to be grasped.

In this case, you have time on your hands. You have a computer, an imagination and a few ideas.

So why not get cracking with the wedding speech?

Yes, you probably imagined winging it. A few scribbled notes at the last minute. A thank you or two and a sweet toast. If you’re the best man or woman you’ll possibly have a joke or two up your sleeve.

But now just pause for a second. And let’s face it, there’s not much else to do.

Imagine that you’ve just given your wedding speech (whenever that might be). And rather than a relieved round of applause, you are met with a prolonged standing ovation. Guests crowd around congratulating you on the best wedding speech they’ve ever heard (at a gay or straight reception).

Years down the line you bump into old friends who still refer to your oratory magic. Well, it’s not as hard as you might think. It just needs time, focus, and a lot of rehearsing.

Here are six tips to get you started:

Be Original: Use This Extra Downtime To Think Outside The Box

How can you turn your stories or thoughts on their head?

Can you draw together a theme that may come as a surprise to the wedding guests?

Can you use some rhyme or write a poem?

Build a wedding speech around the groom’s impeccable manners and sobriety. Or the bride’s decades of abstinence before meeting her husband.

It’s instantly funnier and different.

Avoid The Internet! (We Know, Yeah! It’s Tricky)

You may be in lockdown but resist looking solely to the internet for help writing your speech… there are so many corny, cliched jokes out there.

Much better to sit down and use the time to think about what really makes your relationship special and what you really want to say about them.

This lockdown gives us a great opportunity to go back through old photos, scrapbooks, etc.

Go old school!

Create A Theme

Memories and anecdotes work best when linked around a central theme about the celebrant – something that defines them, that drew you together, their most memorable feature when someone meets them for the first time… the possibilities are endless!

We’ve written wedding speeches based around Top Gun , One Direction , Barbara Streisand songs, Sebastian Faulks , the Royal Family and Torville and Dean .

Each was completely and utterly original and only worked because it reflected the bride or groom to a tee.

Great books don’t get published after a single draft.

Nor do great wedding speeches become great right away.

You need to read them, tweak the structure and the words, make them punchier and clearer, and get to point where you can pause for breath at the perfect moments.

Practice Out Loud And Practice Speaking Slowly

Many of us instinctively speak very quickly without realising.

Take your time and practise pausing for breath and emphasis.

If you’re locked down with a suitable audience member then use them and get their advice on your pace and delivery.

We also offer delivery coaching over Skype for anyone feeling particularly jittery about standing up in front of a congregation!

How To Have Guests Hanging From Every Word

Poetry is a great way to heighten a wedding speech. It is traditional and deeply romantic when chosen with a careful touch.

But how do you choose a poem which encapsulates you as a couple, sounds organic, not forced, and engages your guests?

Katie Hedges from Great Speech Writing shares her expertise to help you find one that works for you.

Set A Theme

Decide on a theme for your speech, otherwise by itself will be impossible to choose.

“A great speech requires a clear structure; D ecide on a theme that will hold your speech together and write it in short, seamlessly flowing sentences.” explains Katie

Choosing the theme is up to you – you may want it to coincide with your wedding theme (if you have one), or perhaps you’d like to dedicate it to something more specific.

Once you’ve made your decision, start looking at a poem to compliment it.

Make It Personal

Don’t just pick a poem you think is suitable for a wedding setting, nor for a clichéd old favourite by the likes of Keats and Shelly (unless you feel it fits perfectly with your speech); a verse from a song or a poem by Allen Ginsberg or Ezra Pound could fit just as well.

“Using song lyrics or a poem written by your favourite band or poet can create a brilliant, original structure for your speech . You don’t need to sing it to the audience if you don’t feel comfortable, but it’s vital that you retain the original metre. Song lyrics can be just as effective as traditional poetry if chosen with care and delicacy.” Katie

Consider Length And Tone

Make sure your poem cultivates the right tone – whether that’s solemn, romantic or lively; and keep it the right length – you don’t want to bore your guests!

“Generally, we recommend 10 minutes as an optimum speaking time. “

So make sure that any poems or quotes you pick won’t mean that you’re talking for too long.

Deliver With Confidence

It isn’t just choosing the poem that’s important, it’s the performance itself.

Remember that you’re speaking in front of your friends and family, so relax, stand tall and speak clearly.

When delivering your speech, make eye contact with the audience, use positive body language and have a clear voice, says Katie.

If you look confident and natural, the speech will come across as all the more heartfelt.

This applies doubly to poetry; sound as if there’s genuine meaning to each word.

Mean What You Say

Performance is all very well, but to truly immortalise your day, choose a poem which you are emotionally connected to; one that you can read aloud and truly mean every single word.

Being honest from your heart is the most important thing of all.

Looking for something different?

We’ve also compiled a list with what we think are some of the best same-sex wedding readings , wedding quotes and wedding vows around. Find something that resonates with you: our selection of alternative wedding readings and poems may help.

Let us know if they help you when you’re writing your beloved wedding speech, or share any wedding speeches you love with us.

Need Professional Help? Hire a Speech Writer

We’re lucky enough to spend our working lives thinking about and writing original wedding speeches.

We know what works and make the time to get to know you personally so we can help you write something that sounds like you at the very top of your game.

We are all working from home during the lockdown, writing away and we’re at the end of the phone if you’d like to chat through any ideas you have for your wedding speech or to edit your first bash.

These are very odd times, and the wedding may seem a long way away. But there will never be a chance quite like this to nail the speech of your life!

Lawrence Bernstein is the founder of Great Speech Writing and, together with his team of writers, has worked with a range of speakers at different events.

In recent years Lawrence and his team have seen more clients coming to them for help speech-writing help for civil partnerships and same-sex weddings.

But their message never changes: don’t write for the occasion, write for the audience.

Don’t worry about the ‘type’ of wedding, think about the people and be sure you include the right balance of humour and sincerity for both the couple and for their guests.

If you would like help writing your same-sex wedding speech, give Great Speech Writing a ring on 020 7118 1600 or e-mail them at [email protected] .

Author: Cosmin

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Speech by Robert Leigh

This is a father of the bride speech at a gay (lesbian) wedding.

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Speech Type: Father of the bride/groom Speech Creator: Robert Leigh Speech Date: 24/02/2015 08:14:54

Ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Robert, the very proud father of Emily.  

As father of the bride.… well of one of the brides… it is my privilege to make the first speech.  I think there are four speeches planned and if the other three are as long as this one you'd better make yourselves comfortable.  Forgive me if this speech is not as professional as you might otherwise expect; this is a new experience for me and I'm a little nervous as I'm not used to people listening when I speak. 

I would like to start by extending a warm welcome to the friends and relatives of both families to share this very special day.  Some of you made long journeys to be here today and thanks go to all for taking the time and effort to join in this celebration of Emily and Georgia's wedding.  You are all here because you have played some part in their lives over the years and I hope you are all having a wonderful time today.

I'd also like to thank those involved in making today possible; to the bevy of bridesmaids for looking after both brides and for helping with the arrangements and to everyone else who has made this day possible for the happy couple.  Having said that, it was Emily and Georgia that made most of the arrangements, so well done and thank you.  My thanks also to Google for help with this speech.  

Well.  A gay wedding, whatever next..… of course, a gay honeymoon and I hope you both have a great time in Gambia.   

It's not that long ago that being gay was taboo, let alone a gay wedding, and I know the older generations still struggle to come to terms with it.  But I wonder what all the fuss is about and I don't see what the problem is with same-sex marriage.  In fact, when I confided with my brother-in-law Tony about this, he agreed and said he'd been having the same sex for years! 

I don't recall when Emily first told me about her sexuality.  Actually, I don't think she so much as told me, it was probably more by way of an explanation.  I'd be lying if I said I was thrilled at the time, but I do remember taking a couple of positives out of the situation.  Firstly I wouldn't have to pay towards a wedding and secondly I wouldn't have to stand up and make a speech.  It just goes to show how wrong you can be!

When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never…… I never realised that lesbians actually existed, because I'd only ever seen them in low budget Hammer Horror Dracula movies, and as I was aware that Dracula wasn't for real, I presumed that lesbians too were also a myth (or Ms!).  Of course, I now accept that I was naïve and ignorant at the time and fully appreciate that there really are such things as vampires!  

Joking aside (accepting my lame attempt at humour) and to put this gay marriage thing to bed.  We don't live long enough to let anyone tell us who we can and cannot love.  Life isn't about what someone or society tells us to do, it's about having a mind of your own, being happy, comfortable and content.  So I say well done Emily and Georgia!   

There are however a few things you'll need to sort, such as:

Who gets up in the middle of the night to check on what that noise was? 

Which one of you forgets the anniversary? 

Who refuses to stop and ask for directions? 

And, (I think I know the answer to this), which one of you will take forever to get ready? 

As is traditional, just a little bit (actually quite a lot) about Emily:

Don't worry, it's not my intention to embarrass you just yet, that can wait until I start dancing later.  Anyway, I'm sure your friends here today know far more embarrassing things about you than I do.

As many of you here will appreciate, the love you realise when your children are born is very special and I remember that strong feeling of love and protection that came over me that sunny Wednesday morning in May 1990 when Emily arrived 5 weeks early.  It was such a life-changing experience that I decided to take the day off work.  I had the same feeling when Emily's sister, Hannah, was born 2½ years later, the only difference it being a Saturday morning so I went home and watched the rugby.  Anyway, despite the trials and tribulations that go with raising children, and yes, particularly daughters, those feelings of love and protection remain true.  

Emily has provided me with much joy over the years.  I like to think that there will always be a close bond between Emily and I (yes, even after this speech), which goes all the way back to when she was a sweet little girl and we used to play.  I'm not suggesting that you're not sweet now.  You remember the sort of things?  Bedtime stories, nursery rhymes such as ‘Row row the boat’, learning numbers and the alphabet, peddling the trike to the shops on a Saturday morning (very cute), and playing lots of games.  I have so many happy memories. 

For those who don't know, Emily always gives 100% in everything she does – except when she's talking, then it's 110%.  I should also point out that Emily plays to win, and as I'm a ‘competitive Dad’ the games we played weren't taken lightly, usual stuff; Connect 4, Rummikub, Battle Ships, the very aptly named Frustration and board games such as draughts..… Yes, draughts where the ‘take for uffing’ rule was enforced, which was the cause of much consternation at the time.  Thanks to Google I've recently learnt two things; firstly that uffing has since been abolished (fact) and secondly that ‘uffing begins with an ‘H’.  A bit like ‘alifax I suppose.  Actually, the last time Emily and Georgia visited I noticed that the Rummikub had been dusted-down and the two of them were embroiled in a game.  I'm sorry Georgia, but there was only ever going to be one winner and you've just married her.

Academically, Emily was more than capable and school reports made for good reading, perhaps more so in the earlier years before ‘attitude’ kicked in.  Karate also kicked in for a while, and Emily achieved a good level (was it brown belt?), and I used to enjoy taking you to Felixstowe in your karate uniform on a Sunday morning where you learnt to kick and hit people.  A punch bag also appeared in the garage.… And that certainly got more than its fair share of use! 

Sure, there were a few trying moments along the way, particularly in those lovely awkward teenage years, such as the time you had an eventful house party when your mother was away on holiday.  Emily, back then I couldn't wait to give you away!

Anyway, you did well at school, got the grades, seemingly without too much effort, and headed to University.  Which brings us to Sheffield.

It's nice to be back in Sheffield.… yes honestly.  I was here in the early eighties, nineteen eighties that is, as a student at Sheffield City Polytechnic as it was then known.  Red shoes and a tank top – I looked as good then as I do now.  At the time I could never have imagined that about 30 years later my daughter would be studying at the same place and living in a house literally just across the road from where I stayed.  I remember bringing Emily to Uni for the first time and leaving her behind in a strange place, in a big city, knowing no one.  A little sad and reflective – both of us, I guess.  Anyway, despite a few early ‘jitters’ Emily settled in to Uni and Sheffield, and I was very proud of you at the graduation ceremony in the City Hall in 2011 when you received your degree.  It was good that Georgia was there to share the moment too.  And it wasn't long after that you both celebrated your engagement, which was a fun and memorable evening in a number of ways.   Well ‘duck’, yuv nah been in ‘ere in Sheffield for 6 year, an’ counting….

As an aside, it's pleasing to note that Emily seems to have inherited most of her traits from her parents:  Bright, hard-working, great sense of humour, attractive, and modest… and I'm sure you take after your mother in many ways too!

Finally, one Sunday evening a few years back, and Tina remembers it well, I received a brief text message from Emily along the lines “‘thought you should know that I have appendicitis and will be having it removed shortly”.  End of message.  Well, thanks for letting me know.  Just a few words that spoke volumes – whatever happened to Daddy's little girl?   

Emily, over the years I've had the privilege of watching you blossom from a cute baby daughter into a lovely young lady.  What I would like to share is how proud I felt giving you away today.  I'm so lucky to have you in my life, you mean the world to me and I hope you are aware just exactly how much I love you. 

(.… Even the wedding cake's in tiers).

I'd also like to say a few words about Georgia and welcome you into the Leigh family, a truly great dynasty, so good luck!  The Georgia I know from the brief visits to Ipswich is a polite and well-mannered girl who generally stays out of the limelight.  Or perhaps you are just keeping out of the way?  However, I've been advised that this is not the real Georgia, who is actually quite loud and outspoken.  I find that hard to believe.  What I do know is that you too are hard working with a great sense of humour, strong values about what is right and wrong and who, like a true Yorkshire lass, tells it how it is.  If, in some way, you have managed to wean a more mellow Emily over the past 4 years then you are to be congratulated on your achievements.  I look forward to getting to know the real Georgia more in the coming years and hope you'll always feel at home whenever you come to stay in Suffolk.  At least I can relax in the knowledge that the toilet seat won't be left up!

Tradition also has it that I offer advice on how to make a marriage a success.  As we are said to learn from our mistakes, I should be pretty well educated by now.  Then again, perhaps not, and I don't feel well placed to give such guidance on the subject of marriage.  There are however many quotes and quips that get recited at weddings and I have a selection here.  You know, there's the light-hearted stuff:

Such as…

If you've fallen out, never go to bed angry.  Stay up all night and carry on fighting! (That'll please the neighbours)

And I actually think this one is spot on….

When you're wrong, admit it – but when you're right, keep quiet

And then there are the tender phrases that wouldn't be out of place on a fridge magnet, such as:   

Success in marriage is not about finding a person that you can live with… it's about finding the person that you can't live without.

Better still….

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. 

And perhaps the sweetest…

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry

Ok, in reality, all this light hearted ‘advice’ is nice and befits the occasion, and undoubtedly there is much wisdom in there.  Applying such wisdom is the difficult bit, and as far as I know there's not an App for it yet!

For all that, the secret of a happy marriage… is still a secret.

Emily and Georgia; my advice is simple.  This marriage is entirely yours, and it is only you two who will determine its rules. 

My greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will grow and deepen, and you will always remain happy and healthy.  Hopefully years from now you can look back on this, your wedding day, as the beginning of your greatest adventure. 

So I wish you fun and excitement for today, hopes and dreams for tomorrow, and love and happiness for ever.  May you have a long and wonderful life together.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is now my pleasure to propose a toast to the happy couple. Please be upstanding and raise your glasses to Emily and Georgia.

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Lessons to Learn from Our Speech Examples

• Length  – no more than 1,300 words MAX
• Structure  – Don’t begin with the thank-yous, start with the stories and hook in your audience*
• Don’t let your speech become a tedious thank-you list
• Tell good stories
• Resist Googled-gags, cliches, and platitudes
• Pepper the speech with humour throughout
• Have the romantic summary towards the end of your speech

Ultimately though, every speech should be unique and tailored to the individual speaker’s style.

For obvious reasons, we cannot share the full range of speeches we write for our clients but these are generic (and made-up) speeches to give you an idea of a good structure.

Your speech may be more sentimental, shorter, or poetic. Crucially, it needs to be more YOU!

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to what can only be described as the greatest day of my life. Well,  second  greatest day of my life, if you include the day Magnus managed to not leave a wet towel on the bed.  (Pretend to wipe tear away)  Sorry, it’s an emotional memory.

Firstly, on behalf of both Magnus and I, let me thank you all for coming. I know many of you have travelled long distances to be here. And a special thanks to our English friends, many of whom see travelling north of the border as akin to entering the Squid Games. Your bravery is greatly appreciated.

THE SPEECH-MEAT

Now, another person I’d like to thank is our mutual friend Lou who actually set us up six years ago. I mean, I say ‘set up’, she described me to Magnus as ‘average looking, but has nice shoes’.

But uncharitable review or not, it certainly seemed to do the trick. When we met for the first time at Lou’s birthday drinks, we immediately gravitated towards each other. We talked intensely all evening. It was one of those conversations where you lose all track of time and everything else just seems to drift into the background. We talked about life, hobbies, future plans and how when he was a kid, he was obsessed with Winnie the Pooh. Which makes it not at all surprising that he’d end up with me: a chubby character with one shirt and an aggressive appetite.

I remember coming away from that evening in a bit of a haze, not only had I found someone I liked, and liked me back, but I’d also found someone who could still rap all the words to Eminem’s ‘Stan’.

I thought life couldn’t get any better until, as we went to leave, he nervously turned to me and uttered those three magic words all guys want to hear: Fancy a kebab?

It was then I knew I was in love.

It’s a weird feeling meeting someone that you  know  you’d happily spend the rest of your life with. Before meeting Magnus ‘love’ felt like just a word, and all of a sudden, he comes along and fills that word with meaning.

To this day, I’ve always maintained that it feels like we are two halves of the same whole. It felt like that then, and still does now, that we were just the right amount of similar, and just the right amount of different to be perfect together.

We complement each other’s good traits and soften each other’s bad ones. By which I mean, I occasionally pick up his wet towels and he does literally everything else.

But I also mean that he has taught me a lot. He’s taught me that kindness always wins, he’s taught me that it’s not the words you say, but the way you make people feel that gets remembered, and he’s taught me that marmite and cheese on crumpets is the greatest snack known to man.

He is the other side to my coin, the cheerful Winnie the Pooh to my grumpy Eeyore. And now, incredibly, he’s my husband.

THE THANK YOUS

If you’ll all allow me, I’d like to take this opportunity to mention some incredibly important people who have helped us not just today, but throughout our lives.

Firstly, I’d like to thank my dad, who has taught me that being a man isn’t about machismo and bravado, it’s about being warm, welcoming, and caring. I’ve often been called a ‘mini David’, and it’s something I’ll continue to wear as a badge of honour.

To Magnus’s parents, June and Martin, your help with the wedding planning has been utterly invaluable, and I can’t thank you enough for how you’ve both welcomed me into your family. I’ll look forward to many more Sunday dinners that end with Martin saying ‘I’ll get the whisky’.

To my groomsmen, for turning up both fully dressed and mostly sober, and also for years of support, advice and knowing exactly when I need a chat and a game of FIFA.

THE DEARLY DEPARTED

And finally, I’d like to say thank you to a very special woman who is sadly no longer with us: my mum. There’s no other way to say it, other than it’s heartbreaking that she can’t be here today. She was a person who was born to be at big events. A person who filled the room with her smile and her presence. And while she can’t be with us, I know how much she approved of Magnus, because in the latter weeks of her life, she tapped me on the hand and gently said ‘Magnus is a keeper’.

So mum, I love you and I miss you, and I hope you’re looking down on us today with your characteristic big smile on your face, safe in the knowledge that I’ve taken your advice on board.

ROMANTIC TRIBUTE

Now, I’m not one for massive promises and grand gestures, but now seems like as good a moment as any to break from that tradition. So Magnus, before I end this speech, I’d like to give you three promises for our future life together: I promise whenever you say ‘fancy a kebab?’ I’ll always say yes. I promise to always back you up by singing the Dido chorus in ‘Stan’, and I promise that no matter what, I’ll spend the rest of my days attempting to make you as happy as you’ve made me.

So, without further ado, if you’ll all kindly be upstanding, and join me in a toast to my best friend and love of my life: to Magnus (Raise toast).

Written by Ed and Tom ,  Speechy  Writers

Friends, family, plus-ones we had to invite out of awkwardness, it’s a pleasure to have you all here.

In my job, I tend to write down my ideas, tweet them or pop them in a press release, rather than say them out loud to the 120 people I love the most in the whole wide world. However, even I know that tweeting this speech wouldn’t quite have the same emotional pull. And unfortunately for you lot, this speech definitely wouldn’t fit the 280-character limit.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Sam, and you must have walked into the wrong wedding.

Now, I, Sam, recently came to the conclusion that I am the luckiest man in the history of humankind. That’s right: I firmly and truly believe that nobody has ever been as lucky as Sam O’Riley.

Not Joan R. Ginther, the Texan woman who won the lottery a staggering four times in the 1990s. Not twelfth-century Japanese monk ‘Nichiren’, who survived his own beheading when his executioner was struck by lightning. Not even Lucky Luckersson, the Swedish horseshoe maker and four-leafed clover collector I just made up.

Because none of those people were lucky enough to marry Miles Wilson.

And yes, some of you may be thinking ‘Surely it’s not all luck – you probably won him over with your winning personality, your effortless charm and your wicked sense of humour’. And to those people I say, ‘Look, I already told you, you’re at the wrong wedding’.

My first piece of luck came on the day my firm were hired as clients by Miles’s company, and I found out who I’d be dealing with on the accounts side. Then Smelly Frank died of a heart attack and Miles took his place.

The first time I saw him, I genuinely knew Miles was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And not just because Smelly Frank’s passing had made me worry about how much time I had left.

To clarify, by the way, Smelly Frank never existed. I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to speak ill of the dead if you invented them for comic effect.

When I first met Miles, the first thing I noticed were his huge, green eyes and his effortless, innocent smile that said, ‘I’m not the kind of man who invents smelly men then kills them off for a cheap laugh’. He was just so darn attractive, and I couldn’t believe my luck when he matched that aesthetic beauty with a witty, playful personality and a kind, generous, empathetic soul.

Honestly, the only way Miles could have been more perfect was if he was the manager of Tottenham Hotspur and wanted to pick me up front. Although for anyone who’s ever seen me play five-a-side, there’s an argument that my limited ability would put something of a strain on our relationship.

Of course, me being me, I was way too nervous to ask him out, umming and ahhing my way through awkward conversations and pretending to care about work during our meetings, when all I could think about was him. My hesitation and nerves lasted so long that I almost missed my chance, but thankfully fate was about to strike again.

This next lucky break came when I was staying in London on an overnight with work, and my colleague and close friend Sachin had a family emergency and had to cancel his trip. Although now I think about it, I guess that’s more lucky for me than for Sachin… Sorry mate, hope your auntie’s okay now.

I emailed Miles and told him the news, that it would just be me in town for the evening, and that I’d be having dinner on my own in the hotel, and he immediately suggested I come out with him and an old school friend instead. Delighted, I said yes, and then I was even more delighted to learn that this school friend wouldn’t be joining us. Because he never existed in the first place. Yes, my husband likes to make up people too.

We had an incredible night, laughing, talking, eating and drinking so much that our meetings the next day were mostly made up of orange Lucozade, Big Mac meals and enough Paracetamol to knock out a large buffalo.

After a few weeks, the work arrangement came to an end, but mine and Miles’s relationship didn’t. I’d spend weekends in London, then he’d spend weekends in Bath, and we’d talk on the phone most evenings. I think O2’s profits got a significant boost that summer.

And the good fortune didn’t even stop there. I was lucky enough that he agreed to switch offices to Bath so he could move in with me. I was lucky enough to meet his amazing, hilarious friends and kind, welcoming family. I was lucky enough that we found Pogo the Yorkshire Terrier at the shelter, who quickly became the most adored third wheel you could hope to meet.

Finally, I was lucky enough that, when I again ummed and ahhed about how to ask him to marry me, Miles cottoned on, and asked me instead. And he was unlucky enough that I immediately said yes.

Miles, I love you, and today the luckiest man in the world has also become the happiest.

Before I go, thanks must go to my Mum and Dad, Jill and Colin, for blessing me with all this good luck in the first place, as well as doing your best to pass down your kindness, your ambition, your sense of fun and your unending loyalty. If Miles and I can be even a fraction of the absolute power couple you two are, it will be a job well done.

To Miles’s parents, Jim and Ursula, thanks for all your help and support in the lead up to this big day, for welcoming me like a son, and of course for raising this total force of nature I’m so proud to call my husband.

And finally, I wanted to thank whatever it is that brings us luck. Whether it’s fate, a god, multiple gods, the universe itself or simply chance, luck is what brought us here today. Which is why, under your napkins, each of you will find a small gift from me. A lottery ticket for tonight.

And if any of you win, I assume I’ll be lucky enough that you’ll wire me half. I have had a free bar to pay for tonight, after all.

That’s all from me, but before I go, please join me by raising your glasses in a toast to the biggest jackpot of them all – to Miles!

Written by Ed and Tom , Speechy writers

GUS: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

PAOLO:  Although having been clubbing with many of you back in the day, I’m not sure ‘gentlemen’ is the right term.

Now, as many of you know, my new husband Gus isn’t the most confident in a big crowd, which is why I’ll be doing most of the talking today.

GUS:  And I’ll be saying the occasional word, but mainly nodding in agreement.

PAOLO: Just think of it like one of our dinner parties. Only with much, much better catering.

GUS:  For our speech today, we wanted to do something a little different, and rather than give a speech, we thought we’d tell you a story.

PAOLO/GUS:  A rather unusual fairytale.

PAOLO: Now, a long, long time ago, in a land far, far away . . .

GUS:  Ruislip.

PAOLO:  . . . there was a frog. Now, this frog was half-Italian, had slightly greying hair, and was allergic to the gym. Honestly, it was like a fairytale curse! If he even touched a weights bench, he’d die instantly.

GUS:  Always good to have an excuse.

PAOLO:  This frog wasn’t brought up by a wicked stepmother or an evil snow queen, but by his dad, Frank, who was a long-haul lorry driver. Yes, it was less ‘Snow White and the 7 Dwarves’, and more ‘White americano on the M7 motorway’.

GUS: As a teenager, the frog dreamt of meeting his prince. But little did the little Italian frog know that his true love was lurking around the corner.

PAOLO: In Guildford. We told you this was an unconventional fairytale, right? This young Prince Charming was, like all princes, a pampered little lad, enrolled in a private school and engaging in the most expensive hobbies.

GUS: Horse-riding, sailing, even violin lessons.

PAOLO: Whereas my hobbies made me money. If you count stealing tenners from my dad’s wallet as a hobby, that is. And though they were from two different worlds, the frog and the prince would eventually meet, many years later, in the court of love.

GUS: Or as most people refer to it: PlentyOfFish.com.

PAOLO: Yes, for our two heroes it had been many years of being unlucky in love, with failed relationships, awkward dates and even three months with a woman called Julie . . . Let’s just say it didn’t take long to realise we should just be friends. But now, the prince and the frog were united.

GUS: All they needed now was the kiss. For their first kiss, they needed somewhere beautiful, romantic, straight out of a magical storybook.

PAOLO: That’s right, ladies and gents: outside Tiger Tiger nightclub in Croydon.

GUS: But still, the kiss was wonderful and the spell was broken. And Paul was no longer a poor, lonely frog.

PAOLO: Now he was a 42-year-old frog snogging posh blokes outside a nightclub. He’d truly come such a long way.

GUS: Soon, the pair were in love, and moved into their very own castle.

PAOLO: And yes, instead of a moat, there was damp on the ceiling.

GUS: Instead of a drawbridge, there was a sign saying, ‘doorbell broken, please shout’.

PAOLO: And instead of a palace jester, there was Maureen the landlord with her insistence on calling us ‘the two friends in Flat B’.

GUS:  But it’s a castle to us, and we couldn’t love it more.

PAOLO: Finally, all that was left was the fairytale wedding. Esteemed, noble guests gathered from far and wide, a devilish feast was eaten, and one thousand bottles of wine were drunk.

GUS:  And that was just my sister, Becca.

PAOLO:  Deciding to get married was the prince’s most expensive hobby yet – who knew it would cost a thousand pounds to hire chairs?!

GUS:  If I ever get married again, you lot can sit on the floor like a primary school assembly.

PAOLO:  But despite the cost, the wedding was beautiful. Merry minstrels played melodic music, and heartfelt vows were shared.

GUS: Which means I’ve had to speak in public twice today.

PAOLO: And from that moment on, the frog and the prince lived happily ever after. A bigger, less damp castle is on the horizon, and hopefully even some little half-prince, half-frog babies.

GUS:  Although when you put it like that, it’s a little off-putting.

PAOLO: So, as this storybook comes to an end, a new one begins. Please join us in raising a toast, to the next chapter.

PAOLO/GUS:  *raise glasses* The next chapter!

PAOLO:  Before we leave you, we did want to give a nod to those who sadly couldn’t be with us today. Frank the lorry driver was a huge fan of Gus, and he would have been over the moon to see us tie the knot today. And I hope I made my mother Shirley proud as well.

GUS:   I never got to meet Shirley, but from everything I’ve heard, she is the one who gave Paolo his kindness, his sense of community, and his absolutely terrible dress sense.

For those of you we were able to welcome today, special thanks must go to my parents, Val and Jim, for all their love and support, and of course to the aforementioned Becca. How’s that Chablis going down, sis?

PAOLO:  To our Best – and I use that term inaccurately – Men, Liam and Joe, thanks for all your help today, and of course a huge thanks to Steffi for being a logistical queen. We couldn’t have done it without you.

GUS:  It isn’t easy planning a wedding for a pampered prince with very expensive tastes . . .

PAOLO: Or a greying frog who never shuts up . . .

GUS:  But you did it. Thank you.

PAOLO: Right, that’s all from us, other than to borrow a quote from Hans Christian Andersen: ‘Life itself is the most wonderful fairytale’.

GUS: And to borrow a quote from Frank the lorry driver: ‘Alright buddy, fancy a pint? 

Speech written by Ed and Tom

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Gay Wedding Speeches

Wedding Speeches

Equal marriage is a hard won right, and since the Equal Marriage Bill was passed in 2013 we’ve had nervous speakers with a new type of anxiety. Namely, how to approach gay wedding speeches.

Fortunately, the answer could not be simpler. A wedding speech is a wedding speech. Whether there are two dresses on the big day, or none at all, doesn’t change things. Yes, some of the traditions ( who speaks , for example) might be scrapped in favour of something more gender neutral (remember, it’s not uncommon for only men to speak), but when it comes to crafting a gay wedding speech the approach remains the same. After all, weddings are about two people celebrating their love. Whether they are gay or not is merely incidental. As such, the only difference when writing gay wedding speeches is the pronouns used.

We’ve established that there is no great difference in how to approach gay wedding speeches, but that doesn’t mean the rest is easy. Crafting a wedding speech takes time, patience, and skill. While no two speeches are the same, and each begins with a blank page, every single one will follow these fundamental principles.

The Importance of Planning

It’s amazing how many people sit down, grab a notepad, and try to compose a speech from start to finish. They’re then surprised when the result isn’t quite up to scratch. Taking time to prepare is the first, indispensable step. It will make all the difference between a speech to forget and a speech to remember.

A good starting point is to ask yourself how you’d like the audience to describe your speech once you’ve done it. In other words, think about what kind of speech you want to give. A moving one, a funny one, or something out-the-box? It’s up to you, and you’ll be in a far better position to realise your vision once you have one.

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The Rule of Three

Every speech should share three key tenets: they should be original , clear, and relevant . Avoid jokes sourced on the internet like the plague. Once the guests hear a gag they’ve already heard before, there goes all claims to originality. The next line might be your own, but they won’t know that, and they probably won’t believe it.

By clarity, I mean don’t overcomplicate things. Use short, punchy sentences of 5 to 10 words. Short sentences are not only easier to deliver well, they generally sound better too.

Other Tips and Techniques

The most accomplished public speakers speak surprisingly slowly; around 120 words per minute, give or take. Indeed, it’s impossible to hang on every word if they’re coming out at great speed. Aim for a speech somewhere between 1,000 and 1,500words. Any shorter, you risk being brief. Any longer, you risk being boring.

Finally, when it comes to delivery , the best thing you can do is practise as much as you can. A common question is whether to commit it to memory . In my experience it’s not worth the fuss. First and foremost, you set yourself up for a whole host of problems, the most obvious being that you fluff your lines, get lost, or repeat a section without realising. Secondly, you’re at risk of sounding flat. A bit wooden. Unless you’re Meryl Streep. In which case, go for it.

Read your speech, but know it well enough that you don’t have to depend on the page. Ideally you’ll be familiar enough with the content that you can glance down and know what you’re saying next.

Final Thoughts

Occasionally we receive drafts that place the sexuality of their subjects right at the heart of it. Generally I would advise against this. Talk about what makes the couple special. Why they work so well together. Why you value them. That goes for any wedding speech, not just gay wedding speeches.

Best of luck and, more importantly, enjoy. It’s your opportunity to say some lovely things about your nearest and dearest (and some good-natured teasing!). You may never have a more open or receptive audience either. A truly unforgettable speech is there for the taking.

Guest post by Lawrence Bernstein of Great Speech Writing

Image from Charlotte Leys Photography

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10 Perfect LGBTQ+ Wedding Ceremony Readings

Featuring lgbtq+ authors and love letters in gender neutral language.

Searching for the perfect ceremony reading to reflect you and your partner on your wedding day? From lighthearted poems to heartfelt romantic excerpts, we've compiled a list of thoughtful ceremony readings with LGBTQ+ weddings in mind. Featuring passages written by LGBTQ+ authors and love letters with gender neutral language , check out our 10 wonderful LGBTQ+ wedding ceremony readings below to include in your special day.

LGBTQ+ Wedding Ceremony Readings

Dear One by Mary Lambert

Where did you come from, bright star? What heaven did you leap from, dear love? How can I spell your name Without the sound of Autumn Underneath my tongue, Without acknowledging the lovers who bent me in half Bless them for bringing me to you How can I say your name Without also breathing the words My god, I found you. How can I ever speak again with this mouth When it has found where it belongs When you touch me, I am a bed of calla lilies I will build a house and fill it with evergreens I will paint sunsets on every wall So you can only see beautiful things How can I say love Without wanting to fold myself into you Like a thousand paper cranes? Dear one, I was halved the moment I was born Either piece of me is inside of your mouth And I was found whole the moment you spoke.

I Belong In Your Arms by Deborah Brideau

Finally I have found a place Into which I fit perfectly, safely and securely With no doubts, no fears, no sadness, no tears. This place is filled with happiness and laughter, Yet it is spacious enough to allow me the freedom to move around, To live my life and be myself. This wonderful place, which I never believed really existed, I have found, finally, Inside your arms, Inside your heart, Inside your love

You are the Bubbles by Rachel Bright

Together, you are the bubbles in one another’s champagne The morning sun through a window The breaking of a smile.

Together, you are the one doughnut in the bag with more jam than all the others. That photo where everybody looks great. The know-all-the-words, sing-out-of-tune chorus of your favourite song.

Together, you are the beginnings of a big idea. The twinkly bits that hang in the sky after the firework goes bang. The cold, thin air at the top of a mountain. The only two people in a crowded room.

Together, you are that unforgettable day of the holiday. An accidental adventure. Chocolate chip. The last two pages of your favourite book. A BBQ with friends. The spray of the sea. The nose of the cheese. A kiss. A hug. A hold-my-hand. A decision which, looking back, will seem to be the most excellent one you’ve ever made.

Together you are bubbles. The unburstable bubbles of the very best things in life. The only things any of us ever really need.

We Are Made One with What We Touch and See by Oscar Wilde

We are resolved into the supreme air, We are made one with what we touch and see, With our heart's blood each crimson sun is fair, With our young lives each spring-impassioned tree Flames into green, the wildest beasts that range The moor our kinsmen are, all life is one, and all is change.

And we two lovers shall not sit afar, Critics of nature, but the joyous sea Shall be our raiment, and the bearded star Shoot arrows at our pleasure! We shall be Part of the mighty universal whole, And through all Aeons mix and mingle with the Kosmic Soul!

We shall be notes in that great Symphony Whose cadence circles through the rhythmic spheres, And all the live World's throbbing heart shall be One with our heart, the stealthy creeping years Have lost their terrors now, we shall not die, The Universe itself shall be our Immortality!

All About Love by bell hooks

The moment we choose to love, we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love, we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. That action is the testimony of love as the practice of freedom... When we choose to love, we choose to move against fear, against alienation and separation. The choice to love is a choice to connect, to find ourselves in the other.

We Have Not Long to Love  by Tennessee Williams

We have not long to love. Light does not stay. The tender things are those we fold away. Coarse fabrics are the ones for common wear. In silence I have watched you comb your hair. Intimate the silence, dim and warm. I could but did not, reach to touch your arm. I could, but do not, break that which is still. (Almost the faintest whisper would be shrill.) So moments pass as though they wished to stay. We have not long to love. A night. A day....

Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

I know that love can be loud and jubilant…It can be dancing in the swampy mud and the pouring rain at a festival and shouting “YOU ARE AMAZING” over the band. It’s introducing them to your colleagues at a work event and basking in pride as they make people laugh and make you look lovable just by dint of being loved by them.

It’s laughing until you wheeze.

It’s waking up in a country neither of you have been in before.

It’s skinny-dipping at dawn. It’s walking along the street together on a Saturday night and feeling an entire city is yours.

It’s a big, beautiful, ebullient force of nature.

I also know that love is a pretty quiet thing.

It’s lying on the sofa together drinking coffee, talking about where you’re going to go that morning to drink more coffee. It’s folding down pages of books you think they’d find interesting.

It’s hanging up their laundry when they leave the house having moronically forgotten to take it out of the washing machine.

It’s saying ‘You’re safer here than in a car’ as they hyperventilate on an EasyJet flight to Dublin.

It’s the texts: ‘Hope your day goes well’, ‘How did today go?’, ‘Thinking of you today’ and ‘Picked up loo roll’.

I know that love happens under the splendour of moon and stars and fireworks and sunsets but it also happens when you’re lying on blow-up airbeds in a childhood bedroom, sitting in A&E or in the queue for a passport, or in a traffic jam.

Love is a quiet, reassuring, relaxing, pottering, pedantic, harmonious hum of a thing; something you can easily forget is there, even though its palms are outstretched beneath you in case you fall.

You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac

Sweet wonderful you You make me happy with the things you do Oh, can it be so This feeling follows me wherever I go

I never did believe in miracles But I've a feeling it's time to try I never did believe in the ways of magic But I'm beginning to wonder why

Don't, don't break the spell It would be different and you know it will You, you make loving fun And I don't have to tell you but you're the only one You, you make loving fun It's all I want to do

You, you make loving fun It's all I want to do You, you make loving fun It's all I want to do You, you make loving fun It's all I want to do

You, Therefore by Reginald Shepherd

(For Robert Philen)

You are like me, you will die too, but not today: you, incommensurate, therefore the hours shine: if I say to you “To you I say,” you have not been set to music, or broadcast live on the ghost radio, may never be an oil painting or Old Master’s charcoal sketch: you are a concordance of person, number, voice, and place, strawberries spread through your name as if it were budding shrubs, how you remind me of some spring, the waters as cool and clear (late rain clings to your leaves, shaken by light wind), which is where you occur in grassy moonlight: and you are a lily, an aster, white trillium or viburnum, by all rights mine, white star in the meadow sky, the snow still arriving from its earthwards journeys, here where there is no snow (I dreamed the snow was you, when there was snow), you are my right, have come to be my night (your body takes on the dimensions of sleep, the shape of sleep becomes you): and you fall from the sky with several flowers, words spill from your mouth in waves, your lips taste like the sea, salt-sweet (trees and seas have flown away, I call it loving you): home is nowhere, therefore you, a kind of dwell and welcome, song after all, and free of any eden we can name

Home by Imelda May

"What is love?", you ask My head spins, recallin' every song Story, words, and glorious things I ever heard Every cliché rings in my ears Like a bell announcin' the birth of a new day Or the death of yesterday Depends on how you hear it I haven't a clue So I ask love, "What are you?" Love replies Can't you feel me? I'm here I'm the one holdin' your hand, remindin' you not to forget me I'm the warm feelin' in your belly when you don't know why I'm the ache to the core when one Someone sways to the other side of a vibe I'm the tingle on your skin when it's Touched by the tip of a thrill you can rely on

The knowing, when your eyes meet eyes that recognise yours And hold you, loose enough to move freely But tight enough to never let you fall I'm the breath you take in and let all the way out to the end When you're held and your shoulders drop into arms You flop that feel like a blanket of truth And wrap you and sooth you To the moon you thought was in the sky

I'm the backbone that holds it all together The vertebrae stacked on top of each other When it's all gone pear-shaped and wrong I'm the bitin' on your lip keepin' it zipped Swallowin' words that could wound and rip apart I'm choosin' kindness over bein' right I'm the fight in you when you don't know how The life in you when it's gone right out I'm life when I'm near, hope without fear

I'm nothin' fancy in a world drippin' in gold But a beautiful jewel never bought, never sold And when you open your heart and let me in alone You'll know who I am, because I feel like home

Still looking for the perfect wedding ceremony reading? See our  Essential List of Ceremony Readings with categories to make it easy to navigate. Be sure to sign up to the One Fab Day newsletter  and follow us on  Instagram  for more!

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Laura faherty, via one fab day, see more in:.

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New Script! Same-Sex Wedding Ceremony Script with Unity Sand Ceremony

Published Friday, Dec. 31st, 2021

Written by Jessica Levey

A sweet same-sex wedding ceremony script that captures the warmth and love of chosen family and friends and a supportive community. “We do” wedding vows highlight equality in marriage, while a simple sand ceremony celebrates individuality as two independent spirits share the path toward lasting love.

L ooking for the perfect words to express how overjoyed you are to be marrying the person of your dreams?

Ready to dive head-first into the future, celebrating your individual strengths as you tackle all of life’s unknowns with your partner by your side? 

Want to celebrate your chosen family and friends on your wedding day, and create an intimate community vibe that makes every guest feel like an essential part of your journey? 

We have just the script for you! 

We added a new sample script to our library:

Same-sex wedding ceremony script with unity sand ceremony.

This sweet same-sex wedding ceremony script begins with a meaningful twist on the traditional invocation: Each guest is invited to greet the person sitting next to them, to reflect on the power of friendship, and to channel the warmth and love created by this supportive community into the ceremony itself. 

From the script: 

Before we get started, take a minute to look at the person sitting next to you. Whether you’ve known ___________ and ___________ a short time or for years, each of you brings irreplaceable joy to their lives. Each of you share a special place in their story, and are part of a community they’re incredibly grateful for. You all are their family, the people who make them feel accepted, appreciated, and loved, just the way they are. 

So take a moment to smile at each other. Feel the warmth and love that fills this room! Keep that love in your hearts as we get these two married! 

Wrapped in this warmth and love, the couples share modern ‘We do’ wedding vows in place of traditional ‘I do’s. These joint vows highlight the importance of equality and collaboration in marriage, and are perfect for couples who embrace marriage as a true partnership between independent spirits.  

A simple sand ceremony follows the couple’s wedding ring exchange to fully celebrate the partnership of two vibrant spirits on the path toward lasting love. This timeless unity ritual can be customized with a couple’s favorite song, different colors of sand, inviting family members to join it, or by substituting something unique in place of sand to match the couple’s style and personality (such as ground coffee, gardening soil, sugar and flour, etc.)

Last but not least, you’ll seal it with a kiss, of course! 

This script also includes a reference to marriage equality, and gratitude that the rights of of gay, lesbian, and other LGBTQ+ couples to marry are now honored and protected. 

What to personalize your ceremony even more? 

Ask a friend or family member to get ordained online  with American Marriage Ministries to officiate your wedding. 

We have all the wedding officiant training tools they’ll need to do an amazing job.

  …

Not the script you were looking for?  Visit our Wedding Ceremony Script Library .  

We know that writing a ceremony from scratch can be a daunting process, especially if you’re officiating on short notice . 

To make things easier, we keep our Sample Script Library well stocked, with all kinds of wedding ceremony templates and sample scripts for you to choose from. These scripts make a great starting point for first time officiants – with sections to add to, leave out, or reorganize, as you personalize a ceremony. 

You’ll find dozens of other ceremony scripts to browse, including a Gender Neutral Wedding Ceremony Script , a Celebration Of Community , and this variation on a Pagan Handfasting that incorporates multiple generations.

You might also like: 

• Tips on Gender & Pronouns for Inclusive Wedding Officiants
• A queer Tennessee Minister talks about the importance of online ordination, and the state’s discriminatory new law
• New LGBTQ+ Conference for Wedding Officiants & Industry Pros!

See all blog articles on LGBTQ+ wedding topics

Who do you want to perform your wedding .

Ask a friend or family member to get ordained with AMM to officiate your ceremony !

Lead Staff Writer & Illustrator

Jessica loves exploring the history and magic of ritual, the connections between people and places, and sharing true stories about love and commitment. She's an advocate for marriage equality, LGBTQ+ rights, and individuality, and is an ordained Minister with AMM. When she’s not writing or illustrating for AMM, she enjoys city hikes, fantasy novels, comics, and traveling.

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11 Wedding Ceremony Readings for Queer Couples

Looking for gender-neutral and LGBTQ-friendly readings for your same-sex ceremony? Check these out!

Photo: Katie Childs

Choosing special ceremony readings from songs, books, movies or poems is one of the most fun parts of building your LGBTQ wedding ceremony. Gay wedding readings can be difficult to come by, though, as many inspired passages may use pronouns or other gendered language that don’t fit for your ceremony. Here are some really beautiful pieces about love — culled from a variety of sources — to inspire your gay wedding vows . Whether you’re looking for a short and sweet one-liner to add to your gay wedding ceremony ideas or full-blown gay marriage poems to add touching moments to your same-sex wedding, we’ve got you covered. Of course, your wedding officiant will help you create your ceremony and may have additional ideas for readings to personalize your wedding .

Scroll these gay wedding readings to find the perfect passages for your LGBTQ wedding!

Photo: Clane Gessel Photography

Moulin Rouge

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."

Justice Anthony Kennedy’s majority opinion in Hodges v. Obergefell

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”

Barbara Cage

“Love is a partnership of two unique people who bring out the very best in each other, and who know that even though they are wonderful as individuals, they are even better together.”

Wild Awake by Hilary T. Smith

"People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn’t know were there, even the ones they wouldn’t have thought to call beautiful themselves."

Warsan Shire

"When I love, I love: wholly, thoroughly, completely, drowning in everything. Every glance can be a conversation, eyes just playing and saying what needs to be said. Silence is loud, and the air becomes heavy. I want you. I want all of you."

The Art of Marriage by Wilferd Arlan Peterson

"A good marriage must be created. In the art of marriage the little things are the big things –- It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once each day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is not only marrying the right partner –- It is being the right partner."

Photo: Derek Chad Photography

Maya Angelou

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

The Wedding Singer

"I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad Carry you around when your arthritis is bad All I wanna do is grow old with you I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches Build you a fire if the furnace breaks Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you I'll miss you Kiss you Give you my coat when you are cold Need you Feed you Even let ya hold the remote control So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink I could be the man who grows old with you I wanna grow old with you"

“I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.”

i carry your heart with me" by ee cummings

"i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)"

"Untitled" by Christina Rossetti

"What is the beginning? Love. What the course. Love still. What the goal. The goal is love. On a happy hill. Is there nothing then but love? Search we sky or earth There is nothing out of Love Hath perpetual worth: All things flag but only Love, All things fail and flee; There is nothing left but Love Worthy you and me."

"And I Have You" by Nikki Giovanni

"Rain has drops Sun has shine Moon has beams That makes you mine Rivers have banks Sands for shores Hearts have heartbeats That make me yours Needles have eyes Though pins may prick Elmer has glue To make things stick Winter has Spring Stockings feet Pepper has mint To make it sweet Teachers have lessons Soup du jour Lawyers sue bad folks Doctors cure All and all This much is true You have me And I have you"

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15 Quotes For Your LGBTQ Wedding

It’s finally happened: the Supreme Court has ruled same-sex marriage bans unconstitutional ! So, whether or not you’re rushing out to get hitched yourself, you’re still probably about to have a whole lot of weddings to go to, and that means these gay marriage quotes are going to come in handy. After all, you'll need to make sure you have just the right words to send your friends, family, or your own happy self down the aisle and into a blissful married life.

The upcoming LGBTQIA weddings will mark such a momentous and crucial change in U.S. history. Throughout time, queer relationships have struggled under laws that refused to allow their love to be expressed through marriage. So, the same old words you've always scribbled on guestbooks or slurred into the mic just won’t do. During times like these, you have to turn to the pros. And who better than some of your favorite authors (many of whom were themselves unable to marry their partners) to capture what love means for those who’ve been denied the right to express it for far too long?

Consider one of these 15 gay marriage quotes for a wedding reading — or just to post to celebrate this momentous decision. It's the beginning of a beautiful, new era.

“What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it's curved like a road through mountains.”

―Tennessee Williams, A Streetcar Named Desire

“The world has changed: it did not change without your prayers without your faith without your determination to believe in liberation and kindness; without your dancing through the years that had no beat.”

― Alice Walker, Hard Times Require Furious Dancing: New Poems

“To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.”

― Federico García Lorca, Blood Wedding and Yerma

“...but I say whatever / one loves, is”

― Sappho, "To any army wife," Poems of Sappho

“No rest without love,No sleepwithout dreamsof love -be mad or chillobsessed with angelsor machinesthe final wishis love.”

― Allen Ginsberg, " Song," Collected Poems 1947-1997

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

― Pablo Neruda, "Sonnet XVII," 100 Love Sonnets

“One wordFrees us of all the weight and pain of life:That word is love.”

― Sophocles, Oedipus at Colonus

"Love had caught him out of triviality and Maurice out of bewilderment in order that two imperfect souls might touch perfection.”

—E.M. Forster, Maurice

“It has made me better loving you ... it has made me wiser, and easier, and brighter.”

—Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady

“Day by day and night by night we were together — all else has long been forgotten by me,I remember I saw only that man who passionately clung to me,”

—Walt Whitman, “Once I Pass’d Through a Populous City”, Leaves of Grass

“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be”

—Robert Browning, “Rabbi ben Ezra,” Dramatis Personae

“What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love.”

—Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“You smile upon your friend to-day,To-day his ills are over;You hearken to the lover's say,And happy is the lover.'Tis late to hearken, late to smile, But better late than never:I shall have lived a little whileBefore I die for ever.”

― A.E. Housman, A Shropshire Lad

“Love him,’ said Jacques, with vehemence, ‘love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters? ... you can give each other something which will make both of you better — forever — if you will not be ashamed, if you will only not play it safe."

― James Baldwin, Giovanni's Room

“I began to wonder if girls could marry girls, because I was sure I wanted to marry Leota and look in her green eyes forever. But I would only marry her if I didn't have to do the housework. I was certain of that. But if Leota really didn't want to do it either, I guessed I'd do it. I'd do anything for Leota.”

― Rita Mae Brown, Rubyfruit Jungle

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